Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
