It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
