Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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