I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
