it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
