omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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