Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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