she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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