32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
