its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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