People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
