She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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