he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
