i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
whose parrot is this?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Randomize
