singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
