All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
