I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
