please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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