Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
