An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
