Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
