super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
