I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
