Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I think my moral compass just broke
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