I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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