Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
