the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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