How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
