Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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