I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
