She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
