Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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