And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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