Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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