they need to just BURY HIM!
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Man, jail baloney is awful.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
