So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
