so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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