Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
They took my balls.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
