Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Also, beer. Big fan.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
