all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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