well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
