all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
