I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You smell like stripper and shame
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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