No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
