He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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