Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
