Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
