a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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