Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
