youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
We need to rekindle our bromance
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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