CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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